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By Uncle Shoey
Im here today to warn of a very suspicious, even scary fact about todays youth. Cheerleaders are not as smart as they look! I know, its hits pretty hard. The evedence is overwhelming though, and many recent tests here in Georgia have proven my theory that being a cheerleader influences intelligence. Take a local cheerleader (whose name will not be revealed) as an example. A few simple tests were run on her in a 9th grade biology class last year. She was supposedly semi-intelligent in the 6th grade before she started cheerleading. She was asked "Hey, you ever hear of Grants Tomb?" I asked. "Yeah." she replied "Well who was buried there?" Her reply took about 3 minutes, "Im really not sure." This is only the beggining though. We learned about how seeds are carried by water to other lands to sprout and grow. Our cheerleader asked, "How does the seed know where its going?" After carefull observations on all the aspects of cheerleader life, i have concluded this. Cheerleading has an stupifing effect on the human brain. More tests and observations are to come, and think of it this way. Have you ever heard a female scientist, author, doctor in any field, political figure or woman of high athority say "I thank all my years of cheerleading for my success." I dont think you have or ever will.