An informed writing on... oh fuck it

By Atomic Zagnut

Have you been in pain because you stubbed your toe recently? No, of course you haven't. You are merely a victim of unpleasent nervous impulses emenating from your lower extremidies. Have you been evicted? No, that doesn't happen this day in age. Your landlord just forced you to vacate your place of residince. Confused enough yet? No, your just having difficulty with comprehension of of this material. It's called double speak. When you take simple things and warp them out of proportion with excessive use of jargon, euphemisms, and really big words. It's used by the government all the time to prevent people from understanding what their talking about. A good example would be the Vietnam War. No Vietnamesse people were killed in it, merely "terminated with extreme prejudice". Even if they did get killed, it's no big deal, they were only "collateral damage". Double speak is how politicians, CEOs, and other authoritan figures communicate to the public. Amongst each other, it's placed in layman's terms, but when said to layman, it's put in terms that only the the high and mighty understand. Where's the logic in that? There is no logic left in the englsih language these days. Shit is offensive, and gets bleeped out on the radio and TV. Crap doesn't. Ditto for poop. Censorship and double speak may seem like two different things, but they actaully go hand in hand. It's the way that people in power control everybody's language. Take a stand. Cuss like a sailor. Tell people what happened without distorting the facts and opinions. If everbody who reads this does lash out against double speak, maybe we can put an end to it. I've really had it with double speak, but I'd prefer if you didn't call it that. It'd sound much better if you said "I have lost my ability to appreciate senseless rephrasments that destroy our communicative ability."